Tag Archives: toilet trouble

Mystery solved!

Dear Internet,

My upstairs toilet has been unclogged for a while now, only I have forgotten to share the news because nobody reads my blog (yet?). But today, I decided I should tell you and let my house’s story serve as a cautionary tale to toilet-owners and -users everywhere! After all, everything on the internet lives forever, even sites hosted by Angelfire with guest books and clip art and sickening backgrounds, which maybe I will do a whole post about because they are fascinating artifacts, and the old internet is sooooo funny. Why is it that it’s funny and not nostalgia-inducing even though we were all there? And while we’re on the subject, have you noticed that The Sartorialist is hosted by EarthLink? Do you think some nerd at Vogue is just playing a trick on us? If yes, good job! It is really funny yet understated and a little bit…baffling?

Anyway, back to my contribution to the internet.

First, a re-cap: my dear housemate dropped something in the toilet without looking while the toilet was flushing. The mystery item clogged the toilet and could not be pulled out with a plunger. And! The mystery item could not even be extracted by a plumber. Doesn’t that sound like something that would render the bathroom unusable from now until eternity? (‘This used to be a bathroom, but then the toilet got clogged and no one in the world could fix it, so now we grow herbs in the tub.’) That didn’t happen, but the toilet did have to be removed (and then put back) in order to pull out the mystery prize, which was…

A four-ounce bottle of eye make-up remover.

Moral of the story: do not keep bottles this size (smallish medium) in the bathroom. They are small enough to go flying through the air but big enough to clog your toilet almost irreparably. Who knew.

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Update on the toilet

Below, a lovely letter from our landlord regarding our clogged toilet (we have two, luckily).

Folks: we have never had a situation where  the toilet had an object in it that needed the toilet to be entirely removed from the floor to set it to rights. If it is your fault, it is your bill!

[The plumber] will come, remove the toilet from the floor and try and find what the obstacle is. If someone dropped a toothbrush in the john, or a tampon, or a hairbrush and was just too delicate to stick her hand in to pull it out, that is not good. 

-[Landlord]

 Oh boy. Thankfully, my wonderful housemate Hallie is willing to pay for it. I think I speak for all of us when I say we are very, very excited to find out what is in there.

And just to clarify, she was not too delicate to take out the toilet-clogging item. She just dropped something in while the toilet was flushing (without seeing what it was and obviously without the ability to halt the toilet mid-flush) because sometimes she is a whirlwind and those things just happen. She tried really, really hard to get the mystery item out with a plunger and is not too dainty for anything.

Quotes

Overheard at Diversity Training

‘Race is like…the brand of pop, and ethnicity is like the specific flavor.’
-said by a trainee, not the trainer

Overheard in My House

‘I think I just flushed the toothpaste down the toilet…’
-said by my housemate

(We still don’t know what the mystery item is, but our toilet remains decidedly clogged. I’m thinking we should all place bets. Interestingly, I took inventory of all the things in the bathroom, and the only thing I couldn’t find was my giant bottle of mouthwash. Make of that what you will.)